


The courage of stars

by rkro



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, M/M, POV: Green’s eevee, Suicidal Thoughts, i wrote this at like 3am in one painful sitting, its not weird i swear, non beta’d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23228290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rkro/pseuds/rkro
Summary: Even now, when he can’t help but gaze a little too longingly at the escape rope in his bag, can’t help but hold his breath a little while longer in the bath tub, can’t help but stare a little bit harder at the ground, seeming so far away from the back of his pidgeot.And she wishes she can help carry some of the burden oflivingoff of his shoulders.
Relationships: Ookido Green | Blue Oak & Red, Ookido Green | Blue Oak/Red
Comments: 3
Kudos: 131





	The courage of stars

**Author's Note:**

> hehe sorry I wrote this rlly late, if theres anything i missed or any grammar issues please let me know!  
> enjoy!  
> title from "Saturn" by Sleeping at Last

‘She was such a sweet eevee’ they all say, voices tinged with varying levels of concern and disgust, all too muddled together to be distinguished from one another.

‘I don’t know what happened’ he replies sheepishly, the lie effortlessly dripping from his mouth like acid, familiar and well practiced.

But she growls defensively, protectively nonetheless, for she knew that he knew what changed her.

How could he not? She was with him since the very start, during the simpler times when her only worry was his refusal to eat, and his inability to leave the bed. And during these times, she learns that he’s never felt loved before.

And through the scarier times when he’s found kneeling on the cold forest floor, fist bruised, bloodied and battered, buried in the rough bark of an innocent tree, screaming through choked sobs. Through her mews of concern she eventually understands that he’ll never be enough for anyone.

Even now, when he can’t help but gaze a little too longingly at the escape rope in his bag, can’t help but hold his breath a little while longer in the bath tub, can’t help but stare a little bit harder at the ground, seeming so far away from the back of his pidgeot. And she wishes she can help carry some of the burden of _living _off of his shoulders.__

____

____

And even after all of this, every morning after, (if) he gets up, enters the bathroom, and exits a different man—a man who’s heart has never been so heavy with the shame of accidentally losing someone _so _important. And though the public may not see it, she does. From the sickly dark bags hung under his eyes from searching, drooping with the weight of the world to the wrong smile that was just a little too much teeth that never reached his eyes, she can see his facade crack like porcelain with each passing day he’s missing.__

____

____

She despised _him _.__

____

____

She hated _him _.__

____

____

How cruel, she thought. 

To leave a soul so lost, to wait for an eternity for something that it isn’t even able to see just yet. 

And if even _he _cannot give it to him, she will. She will care for Green more than anyone ever did. She will love him unconditionally like no one dared to do. No matter how many days of sleeping by his side it will take, no matter how many kisses she needs to give, she will do it.  
So she became cold to the rest of the world—unforgiving for the hurt it’s caused. __

____

__

She’s protective of what’s left, desperately trying to keep him from falling apart, shattering into pieces too small to stitch back together again. She refuses to let him break, to let him give up, to let it all go, and she’ll sacrifice everything she’s got to see him through to the very end.  
But nothing she does seems to be enough. Nothing she does seems to get through to him. The invisible chains that tie him to the ground, pulling him deeper and deeper don’t relent, and she’s afraid of the inevitable.

Until one day, when this kid with his hair pulled through his backwards cap and both a smile and a future brighter than the sun strolls on into the gym. Along with him he brings information worth more than he can possible comprehend.  
And after the kid leaves, a new badge sparkling between his fingers, she’s sees the flame that’s long since died reignite in his eyes. Shutting down the gym an hour before regular, Green rushes back to his apartment only to put on another layer before he calls out pidgeot. She hops on his lap, and they take off hastily. 

She still cannot comprehend what he sees in _him _. He’s done nothing but burned himself a path of guilt and sorrow through Green’s heart, done nothing but greedily take and take and take from him— what else is there left for Green to (foolishly) give?__

____

____

But she doesn’t protest. If just the news of _him _is able to bring so much of the old Green back, she will give him a chance.  
Upon landing, he returns pidgeot with such haste that she almost looses balance as she leaps off his thighs. __

____

____

The desperation in his eyes is the strongest emotion she’s seen out of him in many months as he charges up ahead. Her paws land delicately on the perfect white snow coating the jet black mountain as she rushes to keep pace with him. 

He’s running somewhere, and she doesn’t quite know where yet, until she sees it.  
A familiar red jacket and autumn brown hair hidden messily under a poke ball patterned hat, dark piercing eyes matching the blackness of the mountain, and a cruel blank stare—she knows him.  
-  
And even when they fly off, a smile graces his lips for the first time since childhood. Though they didn’t talk much at all, something’s changed. 

The foggy haze that had once taken residency in his eyes have now cleared enough that she can see her reflection in his bright amber eyes, smooth and shiny once more like a polished gemstone. Though he still has days where he can’t seem to leave his bed, and sometimes his gaze still seems to linger on the rope in his pack, if anything’s clear, it’s that he made an impact.  
-  
Green is sure to visit at least twice a month, and every visit she can tell that he’s recovering slowly. Red is mending him back together, piece by piece, stitch by stitch. And she doesn’t know if he will every truly be whole again, but this is enough for now. 

She thinks she trusts Green with him.  
And one day, when the sky is clear, the wind is peaceful, the stars shining ever so brightly, she wakes up and Red’s here. 

Through a tired haze she can’t seem to understand anything they’re saying, but she can hear Green’s voice thicken, words getting caught in his throat unlike himself and she knows he’s crying. However, instead of jumping up to attack him, she waits a little while longer in silence, ears twitching at the rustling of fabric until she hears Green chokes out in between sobs,

‘thank you’

And she knows he’s staying.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter @altoraell  
> (I draw)


End file.
